You’ve probably been there, like I have – around the “coaching block” – no pun intended. In this brief article, I’d like to outline a few reasons why I hated coaching and how I came to LOVE an actual style of coaching that really resonates with highly intuitive, sensitive people.
My first experience with coaching was that it was an actual “thing” many years ago, before I even considered the path I was on and who I would become. I met someone through a networking event, and when we sat down for a chat I felt like we were in separate universes. Not only didn’t I understand what she did for a living, but I definitely didn’t think it was for me. My mind wandered to someone else she might be able to help – but it wasn’t going to be me. Confused by her message and her occupation, I just didn’t get how we could connect or why I (or anyone else) might need her services. It may sound harsh, I know. But I take some responsibility in this since I wasn’t ready and she wasn’t speaking my language.
Over the years as my business grew more toward helping people heal, and teaching Reiki, I spoke with other coaches. More than one coach I remember stand out as “pushy”. They had an agenda to sign me up for stuff I certainly didn’t think I needed – or wanted! They were operating from THEIR reasons, not mine, and looked for buttons to push to get me to do something about my “horrible” situation . . . their words, not mine, which brings me to the next reason why I hated coaching.
How do you feel about name-calling? I thought so. I don’t like it either. I also don’t like people telling me what to do, and how to do it. Under the guise of “truth”, several coaches attempted to identify my “problem” for me. They said it out loud as if to make me feel guilty, humiliated, less than wonderful (as my mother always thought I was – wonderful, that is). I now see it was attempt to get me to slouch low and remit my money to their program. They were somehow going to “fix” me and my business. Seriously?
Too Much Work
Then there were the times I participated in coaching calls and used workbooks. I had to “think”, write, analyze, and do stuff – kind of like homework. Though I was a bright student and excelled at school (I became a biology teacher), that style of coaching made me feel like I was back in school. School is modeled on masculine principles of right-brain brain thinking. I’ve been there, and done that. It’s definitely too much work that didn’t really get me anywhere.
Something Was Missing
I couldn’t put my finger on it at the time, but something was definitely missing from the coaching programs and people I came across over the years. Back then, I didn’t have a clear picture of myself, who I was and how I wanted to live my life. If I jumped into the programs I encountered, it felt like I’d be on someone else’s path of what my life should or could be like. One program came close to being really good! I even have a mission statement I wrote from that experience that still resonates with me. However, the program itself was developed by a company that wanted us to be better “employees” by being better people. Good thinking, but there was still something missing.
So, What Kind of Coaching Works?
- Crystal Clear – Relatable, authentic, familiar language that speaks to the nature of a person’s SOUL
- No Agenda – No push for a sale, no concern over not getting hired. Just help, help, help – because it’s so needed in the world! Money is energy – not paper. Laws of the Universe say that the more we give, the more we get. If the focus is on “getting”, try turning it around.
- Kindness – Compassion, wisdom and understanding all come from the heart. Everyone has their time-table and their reasons. Honor each individual for who they are and why they’re coming to you.
- No judgement – No analysis, no outer work. The kind of work to expect in coaching shouldn’t really feel like work. It should be joyful! If you’re calling it “hard”, try a different way.
- Prioritize – Great coaching includes healing, discovery, joy and excitement as well as self-care. A holistic practice includes all aspects of relating to people. From that, we find a deeper understanding of who we are and why we’re here.
Over the years working with clients and students, I’ve developed a sense of awareness that goes beyond right-brain thinking and analyzing. It’s called intuition. This seems to be the one missing element to other coaching programs I’ve experienced. Yes, there are skills for coaching – and I’m trained as a Licensed Spiritual Healer. Knowing what to say and how to relate to people are extremely important. However, tapping into Divine Wisdom is a gift and a skill I’ve cultivated over the years. I teach you how to do that, too.